Ibrahim Rashid is an author and an APF Leadership Council community member. Our interviewer is Naila Rafique, a member of the APF Leadership Council community.

The COVID-19 pandemic changed so many lives and shifted our “norms” in ways no one could ever predict or prepare for. In addition to the many lives that were lost during this bleak period, some of those who contracted the COVID-19 disease and survived are now dealing with many short- and long-term side effects, including those as significant as the inability to walk. One such person is Ibrahim Rashid, a Pakistani-American based in Chicago. At the age of 24, Ibrahim suddenly lost the ability to walk following his positive diagnosis of the COVID-19 infection in May 2021.

Following such a life-altering experience, Ibrahim published a memoir on his journey with long COVID and post-infection chronic illness. As he calls it, being a “COVID Long Hauler,” he penned his experience, thoughts and way forward from resilience to recovery in his first memoir, ‘Strong Haulers: Learning to Live with Long COVID.’ APF sat down with Ibrahim to learn more about his memoir and life now. Below are some highlights from the conversation:

What was the main impetus and really your first thoughts when putting together your memoir?

This started as my therapy journal, where my therapist asked me to write about my journey in dealing with the long-term effects of COVID. The book was my way to process and cope through this whole thing personally and in hopes to recognize and reflect on lessons I learned and struggled with, among other day-to-day trials. 

For those that haven’t had the chance to read your memoir yet, can you give us a short highlight and background on the content of this memoir and some of the themes you hope the readers take from this book?

As a very high-level summary, this memoir is simply my journey over months and years with long term COVID and illness from previously never having any major health conditions over my 20+ years of life. The first section of the memoir is on resilience and provides insights into how I managed my symptoms and includes a deep reflection on my relationships and identity overall.

The second sections go into relapse and really just the day-to-day of the skills I acquired and tools used with symptom management and just failing. The last section of the memoir concludes with the recovery section – really looking back at the previous months and relapsing and getting as sick as I did but coming back to a place of balance.  

The themes of the book, or at least what I would hope for the readers to take from my memoir, include: resilience, hope, and simply trying to get through a day while dealing with immense and unpredictable challenges.

What was the most challenging and most rewarding part of putting together your memoir?

The hardest part of writing a memoir about trauma is really showing your scars without spilling your guts. I often thought, how do you write about trauma when you are still going through it? I frequently grappled with how difficult it is to know how much to share.

The first aspect of writing such a piece is to feel whole, and the other part is about making other people not feel alone and help them in feeling supported and seen. I learned that you have to share your own trauma in order to do so.

When I shared the draft memoir in separate support groups of those also dealing with long term illness, some loathed the memoir and didn’t feel like it was presented in a way that they felt resonated with their own experiences with long term illnesses. I learned that the main thing was that it needed to read as being honest to myself and what I’m comfortable sharing, and giving the right emotional space to my audience.

With trauma, only with time does it become manageable. You may never be able to develop the perfect story that can dig into every aspect and relate to everyone in similar situations.

I also realized that I needed to take a break. In between writing and following a solo trip, I came back with new energy and fresh perspective that provided me with the emotional distance to reread, move things around, and even take sections out -  which turned my challenge into triumph.

The most rewarding part was holding the finalized and printed memoir in my hands. The book was released on May 6, 2023. On May 6, in 2022 was when I got my second COVID infection and was exactly at the 2-year anniversary of losing my ability to walk, which celebrated such a huge breakthrough.

What is your top advice you’d like to share with other “COVID Long Haulers”?

You don’t control when you are done with the illness; the illness determines when it’s done with you. Be gentle and ask for help. We can’t control many of these illnesses, or symptoms, but can control the response - which eases the suffering of it. Fundamentally, I believe that trauma is what happens when you suffer in silence and don’t have people to bear witness to your pain. So, you need to find outlets, for examples therapists or friends and family, to bear witness to your suffering and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

The American Pakistan Foundation (APF) has a mission to empower the Pakistani American community and builds bridges between the United States and Pakistan.

Although your memoir is not directly focused on Pakistani cultural per se, how would you say your memoir builds a bridge in efforts to empower the next generation of Pakistani-Americans? 

Going through my journey, it forced me to change, grow and transform the relationships I had with my family. We often see mental health and physical health as unconnected, but it’s not. In my situation, emotional stress would make my symptoms worse. Life is full of stress and our body does, and very strongly, respond to stress in forms of mental and physical health difficulties.

At first, my parents did not understand the relationship between stress and my physical health. And being in a Pakistani-American household, it’s often all about tough love and not really understanding how certain relationships and dynamics can and did impact my physical health significantly. For example, the thought of fighting with a family member would cause my symptoms to worsen, and my parents saw this first hand. Also, valuing the importance of therapy, as done so with seeing a doctor when you have a physical health issue or routine check-up, was key.

Through my situation and conversations with family, I encouraged them, particularly my parents, to be more open to and appreciate therapy. I hope this book promotes similar thoughts in other households, including the impact of family relationships on mental health, and serve as a way to start conversations, especially in addressing the inter-generational divide on mental health in the Pakistani community.

One of my favorite poets, Khalil Gibran has this quote, “All you have shall someday be given; therefore, give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors.”

What is one thing you hope to give while the season of giving is yours?

I want to give hope to people and through my company, Strong Haulers, really a second shot at life and ease the challenges of people going through a similar situation as mine.  

Finally, if you had just one minute and the attention of the whole world, what message you would share?

We are all temporarily abled bodies and some day our bodies will decline, through illness, age or accident and knowing how fragile how life and our bodies are, we should think proactively about accessibility and the importance of inclusion and greater access to health services and resources for all people.

+++

You can purchase ‘Strong Haulers: Learning to Live with Long COVID” on Amazon now!

Strong Haulers is for those with chronic illnesses, like Long COVID and brain injuries, where they combine self-reported symptom data and wearable devices to allow users to learn their symptom triggers, compare symptom management strategies, and monitor their health progress over time. More information can be found on their website:
https://www.thestronghaulers.com/