An Experience of Transformative Growth
A Blog Post by APF Fellow Shariq Farooqi
When I had initially applied to be an APF Fellow for the summer of 2020, I was looking forward to working directly in the field with marginalized communities in Pakistan. As the novel Coronavirus disease worsened in the United States and travel to Pakistan remained high-risk, it became clear that we would not be experiencing the typical APF fellowship.
Although I was obviously disappointed when our in-person fellowship were put on hold, I was still grateful to APF for organizing webinars with experts in public health, development, startups, foreign policy, and more. Through these virtual sessions, I benefited from the insights of those that identified as South Asian or had close ties to South Asia, as they maneuvered through similar obstacles that face me in personal and professional development.
As we transitioned into the summer fellowship period, I was given an opportunity to interview for an APF virtual fellowship with the Atlantic Council South Asia Center (SAC). Upon being accepted, I supported the SAC’s daily programmatic efforts, which included performing research and analysis on trade, migration issues, and civil society engagement. To help the team navigate the complex political environment of South Asia, I drafted a daily newsletter highlighting key stories and analysis on business and politics in the region. In my efforts to support senior experts and fellows at SAC, I also played a key role in supporting the work on Pakistan’s political economy and the role of victims in the war in Afghanistan.
My fellowship at the SAC was incredibly rewarding in more ways than one. I had always wanted to work at a think tank in some capacity. I appreciated the space I was given to conduct in-depth research into spheres of South Asian development that I had always been interested in.
Also, on a more professional note, I was able to listen to myself and my own needs. As we all attempt to grasp for normalcy in quarantine, I remember that my past attitudes and mindset were not always healthy. I had been fixated on professional development and missed other pathways to transformative growth in my mind and in my spirituality. Growing up in a high-pressured community and culture where achievements and success overly define our sense of self, I had been accustomed to striving towards my goals without listening to my body. As I attended the George Washington University in Washington, D.C., this mindset only deepened. However, during this period of uncertainty, it ironically seems like I had found serenity and composure through rest in quarantine.
Self-care and identity struggles are related to the community work I wish to do with local communities in Pakistan, and without this unique virtual experience as an APF fellow, I would not have been able to break the binaries that contained me.
During my time as an APF fellow, I have undergone transformational self-growth. Whether it be the meaningful relationship building or the challenging of my past rigid beliefs, I have gained incredible gratitude for the experiences that have enabled me to come thus far. I can only humbly aspire to continue in my journey for more knowledge while sharing spaces with communities and NGOs in Pakistan.